I am still so caught in the mystery of the making of a person. Meaning how two people, make one really tiny person. it is what happens every day, but somehow when you make your own, it all makes sense.
I seem to have spent the majority of my life, building stuff. as a boy it was legos. a little older and I was working on complete baseball card sets. then it was a remote control car. then a salt water reef aquarium eco system in my room. then other things. i am tinkering with a business right now, and growing a ministry. which gets me to tonight. laying on my bed, exhausted from what seems like a lot of building, a lot of making.
well, jayne and i have been sleeping with our little girl, kruzie in the bed. trying it out, her lying between us the last few nights. so here i go to lay my head, from what seems like 3 long years of making things, with a few pauses, and there is this little product of my and jaynes making.
it seems so surreal to me. so much work is required in making things. things break down. you need more money. problems occur. re-thinking, re-strategizing. it seems the natural part of anything creative is lots of work. it requires a lot, and you have to put in the sweat. nothing just happens. but that to me, is the greatest mystery of lying next to this little girl. I helped make her. but it was probably the simplest making ever.
and maybe that is what is so complex to me. the most amazing, unique, and remarkable creation, is a person. and somehow, we do the deed, the stuff comes out, goes to the egg, and the rest, just happens. and then one day, you look over on your bed, and there is something created. that is alive. and real. and a soul. moving and breathing.
it is the most complex and intricate making. we make them. but, there is so much evidence, there is someone else so much more in the process than me. i think that is what is so amazing, while everything else is prone to break down, and rust, and come apart, without attention, this little one is growing, and changing, and while there is plenty of hands on, and doing, it is like this natural thing God has set up. God makes it all grow.
I am not sure if this is "making" sense. But I think I feel so grateful that God is growing this little girl. most of what I make, tends to fall apart, at some point. and yet, there is such evidence, not this time, not this one. I feel outdone. outdone. and yet, I feel so honored that I get to play a part in continuing to make her. make and grow her into what she was made for, and who she was made to be with. her little makers (mom and dad) and her Big Maker.
I just had to get back up from the bed, and say that.